At a Glance:

• Your inner board is a psychological tool for self-reflection and decision-making.

• The concept of an inner board is similar to Internal Family Systems (IFS), a psychological model that sees our psyche as being composed of multiple distinct parts with their own perspectives, feelings, and roles.

• Gather your board, get everyone’s opinion, and then come to consensus.

I was stuck. 

My company was failing and I felt the acute sense of letting everyone down. Meanwhile,  wallowing in the mud of failure-identification hurt everyone around me—and my ability to find the company a home. 

My friend Omo (FKA Sam) encouraged me to try something: “If your actual board isn’t helping, try having an internal board meeting.” 

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Imagine the loudest people in your brain coming to the table—it could be your child self, the teenager, the pleaser, the fearful, the performer—all being led masterfully by your higher self, that part that sees the deeper meaning of your whole life.” 

“And they just work out the issues?” 

“Yes, just like a successful board meeting, everyone gets to  speak their peace, and the group gets to a collective decision.” 

I gave it a shot. And everything changed. 

Imagine having a council of your inner “parts,” available 24/7, with intimate knowledge of your deepest fears, wildest dreams, and every experience that has shaped you. That's your inner board. Learning to run that meeting effectively can unlock decisions and your full potential as a leader and human being.

The Three Types of Boards: 

To recap from last time, effective leaders benefit from three types of boards: a Company Board, which oversees the business and our performance; a Personal Board of Directors, a group of trusted advisors who help us grow personally and professionally; and an Inner Board, which is an internal conversation among the different “parts” of ourselves that drive decisions and our emotional state. 

Your Parts: 

The concept of an inner board is similar to Internal Family Systems (IFS), a popular psychological model developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. IFS posits that our psyche is composed of multiple distinct parts, each with its own perspectives, feelings, and roles. These parts interact with each other and with our core Self (your higher self or most enlightened part), much like members of a family or, in our case, a board of directors.

People learn to identify and understand these parts, recognizing how they influence thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. There are no bad parts, and they’re all trying to help in their own way. It’s just that those parts can be too loud and involved in times when they shouldn’t be. 

Similarly, when we consult our inner board, we're tapping into these various aspects of ourselves—the cautious advisor, the bold risk-taker, the compassionate nurturer—to gain a more holistic perspective on our challenges and decisions. But the higher Self should always be leading the meeting. 

By running my own meeting about the company failure, I was able to isolate the board member who was making the most fuss: my teenage self. He was brutally concerned about being ostracized by failure: 

Teenage Dave: “We’re going to lose all credibility and no longer be invited to the parties!” 

Higher Self: “That’s a big fear. I feel that. What parties are most important to you? Didn’t you recently tell me you couldn’t stand the posers at those parties?” 

Teenage Dave: “Well, the parties with the interesting people.” 

Higher Self: “Okay, it sounds like those people actually value vulnerability and being real, right?” 

Teenage Dave: “Yeah, I guess.” 

Higher Self: “What would it feel like if we reframe this as a way to deepen our connection to those folks we actually like, and who have also experienced their own abrupt ending of businesses. Maybe we write a newsletter about it? Reach out to some of those people? Hell, maybe even do our own ‘Going Out of Business’ party and invite those cool people…” 

And so on. 

It seems like it might be wildly awkward, but talking this through (literally out loud if you’re game for it), led to new levels of insight. You can do it solo, with a friend, or go deep with a qualified IFS therapist. 

Omo has even developed a set of cards to augment his life-transitions coaching business, with 82 different light and dark parts to help you identify and visualize the parts who come to the meeting. 

Next time you’re struggling with a decision that stirs up big and confusing emotions, try consulting your inner board. It may shine a strong light on where you’re getting stuck and connect you to a deeper intuition on what path to take.

With love,

Dave

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