How to Shorten the Curve of Transformation

And 3 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

For better or worse, modern humans split life into two halves, with a liminal “mid-life” section in between. The shifts we see—in motivations, perceptions, and connection to self—between that first and second half are dramatic. 

The transition stage, however, is longer and more painful than it should be. There’s a lot I would tell my younger self that could have altered my trajectory or shortened the transformation curve. Whether you’re young and want to be a more inspiring leader or older and looking to support the next generation, today’s newsletter will help. 

Going through the Wilderness 

The agency helping me promote my book and keep the content engine going is run by a remarkable 31-year-old man named Bryan Wish. I say “remarkable” because I rarely see such desire for depth perspective in founders his age. 

We hit it off—he could help me build my book platform and I could help him build his company…and himself. 

What drew me to him? 

  • Purpose: Instead of seeking fame and money, he sought to build a community of “high-vibration” people who want to elevate the systems organizing the world. 

  • Awareness: He was attuned to his emotions and those of others. 

  • Energy: He still had the infectious energy of a young leader.  

Per David Brooks’s book of the same name, he seemed to already be working toward his “second mountain.” Like he was building a base camp on that mountain of meaning instead of climbing the fame, money, or power mountains. 

Jung said, “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” But some young people undertake that “research” fully, and as a result, they get there a little faster than the rest of us. 

I knew his company would be successful because he wasn’t burdened with the egoic blind spots of many young leaders that drive the poor decision-making I discuss in my book. 

And “sales” go more smoothly when the selling comes from an authentic, empathetic place. To get to that base camp though, like all of us, he had to fall down. A rough breakup led him into a vortex of self-centered rumination, questioning his worth and purpose. 

But he kept walking, choosing to go through the wilderness, not around it. 

Instead of suffering, victimizing, or trying to “think” through the problem, he embraced his emotions, went deep into the source of the pain, and rewired his inner state from the source. Along the way, he enlisted the help of elders. 

Eventually, he emerged as himself, with all of the natural desire to create, but with a better inner compass to guide him. And the business is taking off. 

The Lessons? 

If you’re in the first half or early midlife, and facing a crisis of meaning, go deeper than seems possible. Interrogate the emotions that come up rather than getting mired in your circumstances or self-pity. 

If you’re in the second half and have done the work, support the next generation by bearing witness, holding up a mirror, and inspiring.  

We need more grounded, driven, and wildly successful leaders coming from soul, not ego. 

What Would I Tell My Younger Self? 

  • Real change is emotional, not intellectual. It happens at the source code level, not the brain. The intellect can convince you of anything: Books and talking are wonderful for inspiration and context, but they are useless as mechanisms of deeper reprogramming. 

  • Ride your energy. You’ve got no choice but to learn by experience, but when you do it boldly, committing to follow what you feel, you’ll accelerate the process. 

  • Consider your life as a movie. What’s the whole thing about? Why are we watching this character? Feeling our life as a “whole” can ground us into why we’re on this planet. It’s not about earning love, but about living fully. You should create the best movie possible.   

My book, Reignition, covers more “I wish I had known…” elements that would have saved a lot of pain. 

Thanks so much for reading. If you know of someone who would benefit from this content, please send it their way with this link.

With Love,